Kitty art party and cat circus at Cranky Yellow

Version Fest- Chicago

laumier sculpture park favorites

down the street, replaced with gardens I hope.

The Map Room in Benton Park

Discovering St Louis sculpture few will see with Cindy in North City.

True/False Film Festival in Columbia

I, Norton with Gino Robaird

My Community Artist Training (CAT) team through the Regional Arts Commission

Visiting Jeremy's farm in Callaway County

This is what St Louis is all about..

Digging for I, Norton costumes at the Opera Theater Warehouse in STL

Carolyn + Emily + Pop-eye

making dreams happen

a week of inspiration

heart-attack with Lyndsay

Ben West (roommate) appreciation day, followed by a leaky ceiling

happy notes made by kindergarten- Including stigmata god and multi-headed monster guy

no budget sledding

It snowed a bunch so my studio mate Robert and I crafted a brilliantly constructed sled out of cardboard, tape, cord and plastic. As you might imagine, it didn't work though it was very pretty. So tonight I went sledding down Art Hill with my friend John. Naturally I wore my $4 Portland thrift store snowsuit,a found hat and a lovely $1 scarf. We watched clever folks sledding on leftover campaign signs and of course, the ever popular cardboard box. After a few rounds down the slope we managed to slip away with two dysfunctional sleds of our own that were destined for the trash. No more cardboard or plastic lids for this girl. I now own a beautiful blue plastic sled with a broken handle!

Post-Dispatch Article

A link for an article about me written in December for the Post- Dispatch .

Sunday. Sunday.

My new friend & neighbor Grace, who grew up in my hometown, came over for breakfast. We made sweet potatoes, ate farm eggs and leftover cupcakes. Went to a meeting and a rehersal for Waziriside. Spent some time in Arcadia building a set for a photograph that involves transforming Simiya into a dead rat. Thinking too much about scaly rat tails & not enough on doing dishes.

birthday

1. 
   

bright blocks and the trojan horse.

the morning I grew to love my belly was a morning I made my bed

An Invitation

Its my 28th birthday!

Join me on Thursday January 15th 2009
8pm at my house in St Louis
Bring no expectations & a wrapped $1 gift (not for me)
wear warm, practical clothes and bring a bike if you have one.

Friends are welcome. Please be close to time.
contact me if you need directions

-E

waking up. the reasons

In this moment, I'm feeling inspired and excited. I've been incredibly introspective for a while now. Most of you who've known me recently would not have recognized the person I used to be and vice versa. It's called- change, life, and pain but its the same for all us in some way. Our bodies and minds are temples of experience. Today I taught classes to the youngest kids in our school. It was full of hugs and smiles from fresh eyes and open hearts. And of course, always some tears. Most of the kids live in my neighborhood, I see them at the store and on the street. My students come from diverse backgrounds and cultures. Many of them are immigrants, some from split families; many are on scholarships. School is a safe place but I can only assume they experience the same sadnesses I do when I look at my community. Its not a matter of poverty but the hopelessness and lack of human compassion that disturbs me.

I've been to places that I was told I should never go as an American. I was told about the crime, muggings, poverty, and lack of humanity. But what I saw in Athens and Mexico (I only wish my experiences were broader) were communities full of life and love. People who helped each other and overcame whatever differences they had. Mothers leave their babies in strollers on the street as they go into the shops nearby, knowing that the old man sitting on an old wooden rocking chair near the Butchershop door will be watching. I've seen street festivals where drunkenness isn't a bitter escape but a celebration of life. I've left my bags unguarded and unlocked on the bottom of a ferry with a pile of hundreds knowing they would be safe. I pitied the other foreigner I saw, the only person on the entire ferry with a backpack on. He was me, three months earlier. I hear similar stories from friends who did peace corpus and a friend who spent a year traveling throughout India working in orphanages.

When someone blames this city's issues on poverty or race, I get angry. Fear and disconnection is the reason that more than half the city's population lives in suburban sprawl and shops at strip malls. Sadly what I see this city lacking is culture. Not culture based on making money or feeding egos or sustaining some silly scene, but culture that enriches life. People who smile and hug each other, people who acknowledge that they are neighbors. Shared resources, shared food, dancing, loving, bikes, acts of kindness.

Sure it's easy to say, well if you don't like it leave. That's what people have been doing for the last 40 years. The first time St Louis had population growth was 2007. I think I was in that 2%. This month 8 people I know who have contributed in some way to the community left town. I can't blame them. I may be be in that group sooner than I think. Perhaps it is a sinking ship but if that's true then so is the whole country. St Louis is a microcosm of everywhere else.

So what are the options then?

I've spent the past few years, experimenting with different ideas and roles. Figuring out exactly how I wanted to contribute to society and this city. Teaching has taught me a lot as has my involvement with various community organizations. Friends and my creative work has been helpful guide as I've worked through depression and pain after a loss of a close friend to suicide. I was also mugged in this city and was an eyewitness to several horrific events. But I'm not ready to give up and I hope there are a few others out there who are in the same place as me. If not, I'm tired of waiting around. While yes, momentum does die eventually. Fighters regain their strength and step up but none of us are superhuman. For real change to happen we have to be open with each other and ourselves.

Something to try-

Every so often I like to think about breathing and what it means. I invite you to stop for a moment and take a breath. Think about it. The action of breathing. How does it feel? Is your nose cold like mine as you feel the air pass through your nostrils? Put your hand on your belly. Take another breath. Does is go in or out as you breath? Do you notice your heart beating? I notice mine. It feels good to remember that I breath and my heart beats. I hope it feels good to you too.

Reading Art and Upheaval by Bill Cleveland.
He's giving a talk at Left Bank Books this Friday, 7:30pm in St Louis.

Also reading Realizing the Impossible: Art Against Authority by Macphee Reuland (AK press)

Inspiration

Pure happiness = Learning To Love You More. A website and project everyone should see. Thanks Harrell Fletcher and Miranda July.

assignment # 70- saying goodbye....

goodbye old socks, you're going in the trash not recycling
goodbye messy bed. I am making you.
goodbye grey skies
goodbye teary heartbroken eyes. We will see each other soon enough.
goodbye Sunday night, it's Monday morning!
goodbye moldy tomatoes & wilting lettuce
goodbye Wally, Grandma & Grandpa Thoenen, Grandpa Hemeyer, Aunt Paulen, Hannah Dog, Nelson & Marvin.
goodbye visiting friends
goodbye Columbia.
goodbye fear of bikes & centipedes
goodbye paycheck, my landlords thank you.
goodbye warm days and please come back soon.
goodbye holiday free time
goodbye sweet Peter. Thank you.
goodbye dirty bathroom.
goodbye old Cranky Yellow
goodbye procrastination.
goodbye hating on things I really love
goodbye to the fishes that passed through my belly this week
goodbye self-loathing
goodbye Alyssa, Fin, Konstantin, Raulf, Monica, Billy, Dan & Trish.
goodbye winter, yeah right.
goodbye Royce, you were the best roommate I never had.
goodbye stability. I need a jolt soon.
goodbye over-analyzing mind.
goodbye piles of papers
goodbye saying goodbye.

This feels really good!!!

Pruitt Igoe

Many of us seem to be fascinated by and even cynical regarding faulty utopic dreams, failed projects, & decrepit buildings. One of the things that drew me to St Louis initially was the abandoned buildings. I have been photographing ruins for years. But after learning more about the city, the fallen buildings I once romanticized have more of a sinister presence in my mind.

I first learned about Pruitt-Igoe (a former utopic St Louis housing project) in an art history class in college. Its history fascinated me. I used as the subject of an essay I wrote about the failures of modernist architecture in regards to humanism in urban development. If that subject interests you I suggest looking up more, there are quite a few fascinating essays that were much more coherent than mine.

Since it's demolition in the 1970s, Pruitt-Igoe is now a large empty plot that resembles a wildlife refuge in the heart of North St Louis. Here's a clip form Koyaanisqatsi, a documentary and a fun Le Courbusier video.

For delightment play all 3 simultaneously.

If you have even a vague interest in historic & abandoned buildings, I suggest checking out the Ecology of Absence website. The site examines the fate of historical buildings throughout St Louis and includes some information on Pruitt Igoe.

photos from this past weekend...

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the family farm

Atnas video

I'm sleepy. Really sleepy. Just did the final performance of "May These Changes Make Us Light". Still wearing my furry dress that I spent most of yesterday constructing. It turned out to be a really beautiful show. Here's a clip for those of you who couldn't make it. It's from Lyndsey's piece in the performance. I LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!

Holiday Fantasticness

CELEBRATING THE HOLIDAYS...

Recorded a holiday single in Alton (photos from the trip) with some friends and am in a performance this weekend "May These Changes Make Us Light" with several St Louis friends and performers. I'm also doing my favorite holiday activity, singing again in Celia's Yuletide Express.

hilariousness...

missing stan

Here's a fun photo from Stan Chisholm's Cranky Yellow show featuring myself, Carolyn, Jaxon and Zack. Stan one of the nicest guys I know. He was our intern at SCOSAG camp last summer and rented a spot at Arcadia. He's in his last year at the Chicago Art Institute.

past clothing projects

Posting these to remember. I made these dresses back in 2004 and actually hand-dyed the fabric, silk-screened and felted. Was fortunate to have friends who didn't mind modeling. Also including photos from some of my other projects. I made T shirts for the Free Form Film Festival and started my own line of reconstructed garments, Ragamuffin in 2002. One of the projects I'm most proud of during this time was Pro-choice/Pro-fashion show. We were able to raise enough money to send 200 people to the March for Women's Lives in Washington DC.

photos from a roadtrip with Sandra

I recently got to spend time with my old friend Sandra and former cat Cleo in Portland. Found these photos from a roadtrip she and I took a few years back. Sandra and I ended up in New Harmony Indiana by "accidentally" following a 69 exit sign. Ironically New Harmony was the 19th century home of utopian religious cult, as my dad calls them, the Harmonists. Most fascinating to me, the group built labyrinths and dug wells based solely on tree formations.

The town also has an installation by Patric Dougherty ,A Carolinian who harvests vines from his property and makes large scale dwelling-like installations. As you might imagine, we had fun climbing them.

East St Louis with Cindy

A few months back I was in an instructional film Sarah made for our friend Cindy Tower's painting class at Wash U. Here's some photos of the factory. I haven't seen a building quiet like this one. Its surprising that so much of the piping and cogs are still intact.

beautiful moments of being awake

Throughout my life there have been times where I felt inspired by and connected to organic process and lifeforms. To get this connection I sometimes have to separate myself from friends, family, local culture, and sometimes civilization. I've checked out for as long as months or as short as an hour. Often when I've been on these expeditions I have wanted to share what I saw, learned and thought but probably wouldn't have had the experience if I had companionship. These are a few photographs from some of my trips over the past few years and a couple of friends who inspire me.















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pretending to be feline

Makeup for the Changes show inspired by cat extraordinair Rashbah. Followed by post-show ridiculousnesses with two former roomies Sarah and Natalie. Not really sure what is compelling me to post these, except that it was a really fun night. I love both of them immensely and I think BBC is my new favorite eatery.

may these changes make us light 07

Photos from last year's May These Changes Make Us Light show at the Contemporary. I dressed some friends "models" in duct tape and my roommate Ben lost some of his chest hair. Maya Lyn had the main exhibition space and I don't think my work will ever have a better backdrop. I also did a vocal performance (without the dulcimer, its better with it) wearing this incredible green skirt made by Holly Reene and a handmade paper bodice I made some years back. I think the best part of the whole experience was working creatively with so many close friends.

decadent walls

my weee little art collection by some folks I like a lot....Wolfman mask by Cameron Fuller. Brandon Tischer's selfportrait. Panting by my housemate Emily Hagan. Zombie Twain by some Rockaway Armada kid. Bow and Arrow Girl Butt by Fran Lakatos. Velvet Elvis painting that I like to think was widely reproduced. Happy God by someone in Rockaway. Nude painting by Konstantine. Elephant Print. Collaboration by me, Lyndsey and Leslie. It's called the trilogy aka two men and a baby.

Ghost tour

In September I went on my first tour as Ghosts I Have Been, performing in Missouri, Kansas, Oregon, Washington, and California. A recording of the performance at Rererato TV in Portland should be posted soon.

Started off the tour playing at set at my friend Sabrina's shop Maude Vintage in Columbia, where some of the guys from Peace by Punching did a rad acoustic set along with Sabrina's partner Max. Was on the megabus the next day then played a set at Solidarity in Lawrence KS and had a drink with another old friend Phil, owner of Wild Man Vintage. Amanda Rehagen another old friend who is now an incredible illustrator/printmaker in KC; toted me around from trains to buses, airports to cars. THANK YOU AMANDA!

Took the plane to Portland and spent several days riding bikes around with my transplant Columbia friends Drew, Sandra, Issac, Ian, and Ben (see photos). Went to Voodoo doughnuts, a bunch of anarchist info shops, a heap of breweries, and the Columbia River Gorge. Saw former Columbia band play, Megazilla, now of Austin one evening. Also spent an afternoon at the Portland Zine Symposium and in true rock star form, played a show in Olympia at the LeVoyer that we almost didn't make cause the car kept breaking down.

Another old friend Danielle graciously bought me a plane ticket to San Francisco/Oakland. Spent several days hanging out with her and her finance. They live in this dome house that used to be owned by the Children of God in the 60s. While I loved performing and visiting old friends, the highlight was the 2-days I spent returning on Amtrak with spectacular views and strange people.

crammed organisms parade.

Photos are from a garment parade I instigated/created for Crammed Organims: the world's largest plush show Cranky David curated. The show happened back in May in St Louis. Check out Fiber Arts magazine for an article on David's awesomeness.

apple picking for Jeremy's birthday

Jeremy is our former closet roommate. Yes, he lived in my closet. Which is now much bigger thanks to Cranky Yellow. He runs an organic farm and soon to be CSA near Columbia Missouri. Went apple picking for his birthday with Kim of Jerusalem and the Starbaskets, Mark of Firedog and Michael Wilson former member of Witch's Hat.

Artica gathering at Hap and Nita's studio

Anna's noise-making truck at Artica

Anna made this rad noise-making truck that's now a tree house shack appendage in North City. This was my favorite piece at Artica. Anna drifted in with the Rockaway Armada this past Spring .



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52VAW49447Q&feature=related

on the riverfront

Artica is a strange event that I've attended several times since I moved to St Louis. This past year I was given grant to make a sculpture for the event.

In early Spring Konstantine and I dumpstered a foam divider from Wash U's dorm bail out (see photo). It was laying around my studio for months. I tried painting and covering it with fabric but tape was the only thing that worked at all. I spent a good 30 hours tearing tiny pieces of tape to make the screen. Cranky David and I did a 8 hour powwow one night and I don't think I would have finished without him.

At the event I did a Ghost I Have Been performance under the I-70 bridge with the dulcimer and some kids who showed up with didgery dos . Hugs to Jeremy Ghost Ice for making some rad tapes I played in conjunction and folks who free-formed on electronic toys. The droning of traffic, clanking of trains and rushing water make a breathtaking convergence. I think it was the best performance yet. Layed my tent close to the river that night and woke to a beautiful sunrise. Had groggy morning coffee at Mr McCormick's apron tent and went to breakfast at Eat-Rite with Cindy Tower, her friend and the beagle.

-E

playing with the dead on cherokee

Day of the Dead on Cherokee

Rock N Roll Craft Show

Just got a letter in the mail from Rock N Roll Craft Show. Thanks guys! For those of you who have never been, its a yearly St Louis DIY craft show and music festival in November at the Third Degree Glass Factory. This year I led demos and sold feather earings. I felt all Bob Ross like with my headset and demo screen showing kids how to make polymer clay jewelry. The first demo was a bit intimidating but who doesn't love having their face on an enormous flat screen with a live audience? Thanks to the folks who were as interested in crafts as glass blowing, especially the sock monkey.

Craft Night @
Cranky Yellow/Wounded Bird
2212 Cherokee St
Dec 11th, 7 pm. BYOC